The most common reasons that we are cheating on Her or Him
I make this blog based in my own personal opinion and experience, I was a very promiscuous (sexually talking) guy I,m (was) so crazy about women,and I have to admitted I have a few affairs in my marriages(this is my second one and I wish the last one),witch I'm NOT proud off that awful habit, but throughout all this years I been thinking about and realize a few things that I want to share with you all.
One of the worst betrayals to our partner is infidelity. Generally ,we think that the cheater is the only culprit(guilty), but infidelity is the result of crisis in your marriage, who is unfaithful is because he or she is looking in another person ,sexual excitement, emotional or intellectual compatibility or anything your partner does not gives you.
Infidelity does not occurs spontaneously, there are reasons that cause it . The list of reasons are endless,but here are some very good examples of infidelity syndrome,based in my own experiences.
The most common reasons:
- We feel devalued. ending love, facing the true colors of your partner,and forget the idealized coexistence and his/her behavior is not always pleasant , frustrating ,no expectations. If our partner let us focus only on our personal goals and not on both but at the same time we met another person that makes us feel more valued, we chose her/him as a new partner unconsciously.
Primarily for women,or men it is very important to feel beautiful or handsome and still desired by a man or woman. If those goals are not met ,we feel a great frustration and devalues our self-esteem. One way to feel attractive and desirable again, is being involve in an extramarital relationship.
- Monotony. When our partner neglected our relationship by their personal activities and ceases to have loving details with us, we start feeling that love is over, there is a distance ,and we began to feel chained to spend the rest of our days in a relation that has lost its charm. A marriage mired in routine and boredom can come down because of an encounter with an stranger who arrive to our life and treat you with the mystery, charm and excitements witch is gone in our relationship.
- A poor sex life. Sex is an essential (if not the most important)element in couples and if it is defective, who is dissatisfied him/her tends to look beyond if sexual satisfaction is not found in your partner. If you still feel a great love for your partner,but in bed we did not find anything exciting, or meet our fantasies,we end up having sex with another person, because we are angry with our partner who does not want to make love or do not want to take out our sexual fantasies.
- Emotional dependence on parents. If our partner is not emotionally separate from their parents and do not set limits to them, this childish behavior makes us feel very unstable , and our needs to be heard and cared for us ,definitely will guide you to find an extramarital relationship.
- Idealized our partner. To continue idealizing our partner, very often we choose a totally different person as a lover. There are those who realize all their sexual fantasies with the lover and not with their partner just to feel that he/her still in the concept of a decent person.
- The couple allows. (this are an interesting one)There are some cases in which the couple makes the agreement ,that we have extramarital relationships, because it knows that we need to meet the deficiencies in our own relationship.
- Feel's threatened our freedom. When the partner is suffocating us with fear or trying to losing our independence and being trapped in a relationship, we try to feel free and commit acts of infidelity.
- We look for new sensations. If the sensation of love ,attraction and respect for our partner is over and sensation of boredom living in a relationship, some people need to continue to satisfy their need to remain in love(me). Curiosity to experience sex with others and live the adventure is a powerful feeling in a new affair.
- Having gained power, money and social position, there are those who feel they have earned the right to have a greater potential sexual with the opposite sex.
Infidelity is a symptom of the series of crisis for which we went through as a couple. If we look deep-down in our hearts, we realize that we are a cheaters when we are not find in our partner and our relationship whatever does not meet our needs completely, However, the crisis will depend on how we can communicate to each other as a couple.
One of the worst consequences of the lack of fidelity or loyalty can be seen in the faces of those who are "Sorry for what they doing and nothing they can't do about it". The faces of the cheaters and those deceivers has a seal of bitterness on their forehead very hard to erase. So to avoid living a life full of shame and bitterness,and the best thing, is to live your life with complete integrity. The other deception is this inevitably going to rebound back to you and eventually make ourselves losers.
A good relationship has a number of characteristics that make it special and encourage the experience of fidelity, but you must take care not to be the product of the initial emotion:
Interest in being near the person, seeking details and moments of affection.
Gives little importance to the errors,defects and mistakes of your partner, do everything possible to help overcome that with understanding and affection.
We are going to be increasingly more happy as we advance in knowing of the person and the way it is for us.
As we share joys, sorrows, triumphs, failures, plans ... all.
OK... that's it folks ,I really hope you all enjoy it this humble reflections from my own experiences in life,and for those are cheaters!! try not to make the same mistakes I make.
Until next time
Manny